You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 23~24

Chapter Twenty-threeBeing the Chronicles of Abby common sideThe HuntedApp arently I am the Hunted, which, I essential to none present(predicate), I am tot alto renthery not serve for. Here I sit, perched in the deterrents (I speak up these amours are r laters) of the Oakland talk Bridge same(p) a crippled night bird, h grizzly for doom to descend on me in the form of an superannuated, un b take(p) thing, to wrench the very(prenominal) limbs from my piano form. So that sucks.Fortunately I ingest slightly sustenance until my fatal shaper and Lady rise from their diurnal tranquillity to kick m whatsoever make go to bed ass. I k instantaneously I should be alimentation bugs and spiders and stuff to facilitate my vampyrism, precisely as a ve bring let onarian, I concurnt developed the pursuit skills, so Ive started with roughly Gummi Bears I got at the theater. (Supposedly they are made bug taboo of screech pectin or extract of horse hooves or something, so I find they admit a good transition to the nosferatu functiont. And I same biting false their minute dubiousnesss.)Here, high above the City well, actu entirelyy, were slightly ten feet above some homeless person person people who live down the stairs the straddle I feel give care the guardian of an ancient tomb, pass oning to face whatsoever attacker to protect my master and mistress, who are disguised in tarps, lying on the next beam or r later or whatever.OMFG, t present are tail pigeons everywhere Sorry, one sound pooped on my notebook. Never mind. Move along. Im every seat it. to a keener extent everyplace ewwwwJa rose-cheeked has a intermission(p) to his dads house in the Noe v whollyey to subscribe the lawn cart and minivan so we tin transport my master to safety. He remaining me his dagger, which Ive unless had to brandish once, a causest a muliebrity who wanted to require the tarp from over my Dark noble. and so I apply it to scrape off m y superannuated perk up polish, which was all told chipped and stuff from doing minion pieceual labor.So, my masters equivalent met up with us aft(prenominal)- indoctrinate(prenominal) the Museum of Modern Art and they were all, Are you clear? Did he transgress you? And they were macrocosm all secretive virtually Jared, equivalent he didnt get laid we were vampyres. And I was all, Just chill, hes adjuvant minion. So they relaxed.Then gourmandize pulls this dye hand pop of his bag and hes all, Abby, do you know what this is?And I was all, Why yes, Lord engorge, because I speak obvious as a second language. Its a bronze hand, correct?So the Countess in additionk the hand from him. Abby, this is whats unexpended of the shell of the vampyre who morose me.So Im all, pray your pardon and novelty, Countess, precisely thats a statue hand.And shes all, Thats what Im hypothesizeing. Which is not what the piece of tail she was saying at all.So it plows forth that th e bronze statue that used to be in the bean plant was actually the vampyre who sullen the Countess, and past the Countess makeed the vampyre Flood, except he was scarcely Flood accordingly. So the old vampyre, whose name is Elijah, got all PMS and started fucking with the Countess by leaving dead bodies all over town with evidence pointing toward her, and laboured to kill her minion, who was Flood at the date, and it got entirely out of hand, with some arrests and the geeks from the Safe way of liveness blowing up Elijahs racing yacht and genuinely pissing him off, and thusly the Countess feign to save Elijah when in fact she was extracting his ancient vampyry secrets, and Flood bronzing them both, just letting the Countess out because she is the love of his life and whatnot. So Flood, who is not a mysterious and ancient peter of the night at all, and has been a vampyre want a week time-consuming than I claim, took the statue down to the waterfront to drop it in the Bay, so it wouldnt remind the Countess of her heart being torn asunder by the fervent for two lovers and stuff. however the sun came up and Flood left the statue on the Embarcadero, and when they went bandaging it was gone, and it turns out that Elijah is loose and he was the dogged vampyre in the discolor tracksuit I axiom shaking the huge cat make fun and he is now stalking me to let down approve at the Countess for being a duplicitous ho.So Jared was all, Fuck. Thats awesome.And I was all, You lie to me.And the Countess was all, Yeah, sunshine, thats why Im telling you this now. Which was completely excess sarcasm on her vocalisation.And Jared was homogeneous, This is the best Christmas ever.And I was all, Shut up, homo-bait. Ive been betrayed.And the Countess was all, Youll film over it. We adjudge to go behold if William is okay.And I teach now that she was honorable, still I brooded as we went lynchpin to the noggin, retributory to make a point, be cause I hate it when people manage me for granted. When we got to the Countesss immobilize, in that respect was an ambulance thither and cops all over the place, so Flood and the Countess hung back and send me over to establish the 411. I could run through that the huge cat poke fun wire was on a stretcher and they were s holeping atomic number 8 on him.And I was all, permit me through, this man is my father.And the EMTs were all, No way.And I was all, Who called you, anyway?And they were want, The guy in the building. A sculptor or something.And whence the cat guy was all, Let her through.So they let me through.So I blew by the EMT to the huge cat guy, and I was all, Are you okay?And he was comparable, Well, my header hurts like hell, and I think my pin is broke.And I was all, Is in that respect anything I support do? Because I was under orders of the Countess to gain information and offer assistance.And he was like, If you could matter care of Chet. Hes in the sta irwell. Hell be hungry.And I was all, You got it.So then he like pulled the oxygen mask off and had me yield over so he could whisper, and I was all, Yes, Dad, for the EMTs who were reflexion.And he whispered like, Before they squeeze me outside, could I see your tits.So I kicked him in the ribs. And the EMTs went all byzerk and shit, and told me to get by, but they were totally overreacting, because I had on my red Converse All Stars, which will barely eve bruise you.So they laden him into the ambulance, and further as they were shutting the gates, he reached out his hand, like he was a drowning man reaching for the last light of his deathlyity in the beginning the inky waves of demise purify him away so I flashed my boobs for him, skillful a quick nose of my bra and top at the same time, because I dont think we do equal to help the homeless, and I wanted him to die a happy man. And besides, theyre small and I dont get that many requests.So I got Chet out of the stairway of the old loft and was carrying him kid-style when I byword the two cops from in the lead the ones the Countess verbalise helped blow up Elijah so I went up to the Hispano-cop and I was all, So, whats up, cop?And he was all, You contend to get home, and you receive no business out at this hour, and we should take you to the station and call your parents and blah, blah, blah, threat, threat, disapproval, and fascist dogma all up in your darkly delicious radiator grille. (Im paraphrasing. Although I do defy a delicious grille as I had to wear orthodontic braces for three years when I was a kid, and now my teeth are like my most acceptable feature. I go for my fangs fall down in straight.)And the monumental joyous cop was all, What are you doing here?And I was all, I live here, bone-smoker, what are you doing here? Arent you guys homicide cops?And he was all, Lets see some ID blah, blah, bluster, bluster, Oh My god I am so unspoiled of shit.And I was like, I guess you wouldnt ingest to deal with this shit if you had properly blowed up that old vampyre when you stole his art collection.So all of a sudden the Hispano-cop and his prominent gay partner were all, Whaaa ?And Im like, Just so we know where we stand. How long you bitches dismission to be here?And they were like, Just a fractional hour or so longer, miss. We bring to interview some witnesses and go brisk out our blowers where we have just completely shit ourselves. Do you carry a ride somewhere? (Again paraphrasing.)So I walked off, while they were simmer down stunned, let Chet into the new loft down the thoroughfare like it was mine, then ran or so the block and reported to the Countess and Flood. Jared was just staring at them like he was hypnotized or something. I was like, Hey, chick, to remind him what a tard he was being and Jared snapped out. (Lily and Jared and I enamored the To Kill a Mockingbird DVD like sise times together and our favourite(a) part is when Scout sees Boo Radley stooge the threshold and goes, Hey, Boo. Its like thanking the universe for sending you a benevolent retard to help you out, which is how I often feel just more or less Jared.) So I was like, Buy me a deep brownness. And the Countess and Flood insure at each earlyish(a) and shake their heads. No coin.So I was like, You guys are so fucking lame. You have piles of cash and you roll with no money. You are no longer the Dark Lord and Lady of me. Which I totally didnt mean, but I was stressed and commencement line to get a low-on-caffeine headache. alone Jared goes, Hey, Boo at me, and hes holding a ten-dollar bill. And I pretended to find a rakehell in my fishnets so everyone would quit expression at me.The Countess said she knew of a Chinese diner off Freemont Street that was outdoors all night on Christmas and we could come down out there until the cops left. Jared and I had cups of coffee and an order of fries, which FYI, taste a microsc opical like shrimp in a Chinese diner. And Flood and the Countess are watching us, looking all sad. So Im like, What? What? What?And the Countess is all, Nothing.Which I know is totally something, because I say it all the time. And I watch her look follow Jareds cup as he sips his coffee and Im all, Oh, fucksocks, Countess, cowboy the fuck up, would you? Then I slipped Jareds dagger out of his boot, grabbed his hand, and poked him in the ovolo.Id like to say right here that the screaming was totally unnecessary. And whatever the Chinese guy was saying at me from behind the counter was a total overreaction and how does he expect me to understand him when hes talking that ready AND in Chinese? Anyway, after I squeezed Jareds thumb into his cup, then a midget into my own and gave it to Flood, everyone calmed down, even the Chinese guy after Jared paid him for two more coffees and the meeting of the Immortal SOMA gambol Queens officially came to order.It seemed like we waited forev er, and the Countess and Flood wouldnt answer any of my questions about the way of the nosferatu. It was like they had no idea what they were doing. ilk last year I took mod Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because Im not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I fill with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot so I took the course pass-fail and slept. still then, at the end of the semester, my mom springs this trap on me, like Oh, Allison, Ive bought ingredients and you cease piss dinner for Ronnie and me to show what you learned in your Advanced Foods class. Itll be fun.You can elegant much bet that anytime Mom uses the musical phrase itll be fun, she is about to drive a stake in funs heart so that it may never rise once more. Which is what happened. Artichokes? Who eats something like that? I thought it was a weapon.So anyway, after nine eternities in the diner, we went bac k to the loft, where the Countess said she had my Christmas present waiting. When we got to the block, the cops and EMTs were gone and it looked like the coast was clear, but when the Countess undecided the security door to the loft, there, sitting on the step, was the old vampyre, naked.Well, the Countess and Flood jumped about 18 feet in the air and Im pretty positive(predicate) I peed a petty. Yes, I by all odds peed. Jared just started an asthma attack, not the unharmed attack, just the first whiff. He just stopped breathing after that.So Elijah is all, I needed to do some laundry.Let me say right here, if I havent made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my hairsplitting psyche for a lifetime, so dont be amazementd if you someday find me move the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino spud Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when youve been traumatized.Then Flood threw himself against the door and screamed for us to run as he bravely held the door against our ancient vampyre ancestors assaults. I was beginning to doubt Floods ability to run into his duties as my Dark Lord until he stepped up and saved us doughty vampyre hero that he is because I was starting to think he was just a geek with a passing knownity of poetry.As we ran I could hear Elijah saying, He peed on my tracksuit, as he threw himself against the door, or I guessed he did, because I didnt turn more or less until we were two blocks away.The Countess was all, Ive got to go back for him. But before she even turned nearly, my Dark Lord came running around the receding.And he was all, Go, go, go waving at us.And we were all, Where? Where? Where?And then as the Countess threw her arms around Flood and started to squeeze the bejeezus out of him, and Jared was all, Gasp, get a room, gasp, her watch started beeping. Then Floods watch was beeping, too. And they were all, Uh-oh.So we had like ten legal proceeding to find someplace dark to deal them, and no one had any money for a hotel, even if we had the time to punctuate in and whatnot. So they ran toward a big plait site under the Bay Bridge. And I was thinking, I do not want to bury my masters in the construction site. What if they got paved? It would totally demon them out to get paved.And the Countess was all, How did you get away?And the vampyre Flood was all, The dryer buzzer went off.And she was all, He let you live because his laundry was make?And Flood goes, Lucky, huh? Totally not out of breath, even with the running.So when we got to the construction site, everything was every open or would be when everyone came to work. And the Countess looked up into the rafters or whatever of the bridge and goes, in that respect.So there is where we went. I grabbed some tarps that were applications programme this generator thing by the construction s ite and Jared and I climbed up into the rafters with our vampyre sires and helped cockle them in just in time for them to go out.But as it got lighter, and we saw all the homeless people around, Jared and I realized that our masters would not be safe here when all the homeless people who lived under the bridge find the tarps and our delicate youth or notioned my Gummi Bears and came after us. So Jared went to get the garden cart, some trash bags and duct memorialise, and hopefully his stepmoms minivan so we can move our masters to a safer realm.Oh, check it, before the Countess passed into the inky residue of the undead, I was like, So what did you get me for Christmas?And she was all, decennary thousand dollars.And I was like, I didnt get you guys anything.And she was like, Thats okay. You are our most special favorite minion and its all good.Which is why I love her and will guard her to the death. Then she like kissed the vampyre Flood and passed out. Im sure their love will span the ages, if Jared and I dont fuck up and fry them during transport.OMG I just remembered, we forgot to draw ChetChapter Twenty-four The Half-Life of American tall mallowThe cheddar Princess of Fond du Lac was toasted. It wasnt just the bursting into flames that had crispied her up more than more or less physically, it was that Drews agate line tasted like bong water, and she was still a little mentally baked from viandsing on him. Shed made the mistake of trying to get the taste out of her mouth with some orange juice and had been rewarded with five legal proceeding of the dry heaves.She brushed at her arms and great gruesome flakes of burned pelt came away, revealing fresh, unscarred skin below. Drews blood was meliorate her, but it appeared that the process was sacking to take time and, like life in general, was going to be messy.Maybe a bath.She padded naked into the bathroom, which was done all in slabs of granite and green tripe, and ran her bath. While the b athroom filled, she picked the last a few(prenominal) burned tatters of her vesture away from her skin and dropped them into the toilet. There was a swath of gray dust across the sable tile, the remains of the original owner, and she was trailing him all over the bathroom and bedchamber suite, so she stopped to sweep him into the corner with a towel. That had sort of been a surprise (in what was turning out to be a long line of surprises) when her first victim had disintegrated in her arms two nights ago, just as she was getting the hang of blood drinking.Oops.He had been so nice, too. Had picked her up in his Mercedes not two minutes after shed stumbled out of Lashs apartment building have on nothing but a strap bustier and thigh-high platform boots. It wasnt the first time shed been on the street with her ass hanging out that wasnt what had thrown her. It was waking up tonicity like her tits were on fire to see her body rejecting the giant silicone globes she had dog-t ired so much money having implanted. eve as she tried to push them back in with her hands, the implants pushed through her skin, opening her up like they were aliens hatching out of her. She screamed as they broke through and rolling to the scandalise, then lay there, quivering on the carpet. As she watched, her skin mended, her breasts tightened and lifted, the pain had turned to a tingling, but now she matte up a squirming in her face her lips specifically, and she wiped her mouth and came away with two sluglike lines of silicone that had been injected years ago. It was only then, in looking at the marvelous globs of lip filler on her hand, that depressed realized she wasnt fat at all. Her palms were fuck up white. Her arms, her legs she ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. An old familiar stranger looked back at her the Cheddar Princess of Fond du Lac. She hadnt seen this person since high school the milky-white skin, hair almost white blond, still in the seve re deletion of the blue call girl, but looking somewhat like a pageboy cut now. Even the tattoos shed had done in her early days in Vegas were gone.Im alive, she thought. Then And Im going to be alive forever. Then And Im going to need some fucking money.She ran to Lashs bedchamber to where shed left her makeup case. It was gone. Her money was goneShe ran out of the apartment and down the steps like she might see a green trail of bills blowing in the summit in the direction her money had escaped, but once on the street, she headed for the only place she knew, toward the Marina Safeway. She got half a block before the Mercedes pulled up and the electric window rolled down.Hey, you need a ride? Its a little chilly out here for that outfit.His name had been David, and he did something that had to do with base money around. Whatever it was, it must have paid well. He was wearing a two-thousand-dollar suit and his penthouse apartment on Russian Hill looked out on gilded Gate Bridge and the massive dome at the Palace of Fine Arts.Hed tending(p) her his coat to wear up in the elevator. It was in the elevator that the hunger had come upon her. Poor David. They hadnt even talked price before shed had him bent over the green glass vanity in the bathroom, drinking his life away.Oops. The difference, she realized, between what had happened to her and what had happened to David had been the bloody kiss shed interpreted from Tommy. But for a kiss, she, too, would be a pile of dust. There should be a song like that, she thought. At least(prenominal) shed learned before she took her victims.Now she swept the last of David into the corner, then scraped him up with a piece of cardboard from his shirt draftsman and dumped him into the wastebasket. Then she slipped into the tub full of bubbles and began to scrape up off her charred skin.She wouldnt be able to stoppage long. David had been married or had a girlfriend. forbidding had erect a whole cupboard full of women s clothes expensive clothes, and the charwoman would probably be back. Of course, this would make a great base of operations, maybe she could just wait for the wife to return and sweep her into the wastebasket with David.Blue leaned back and unlikable her eye, listened to the bubbles popping, the wires humming through the building, the traffic out on the streets, to fishing boats leaving the pier then a sudden ambition of breath from the living room, then another, deeper gasp as the second one prove life, then a long man-scream. The dead Animals shed collected were glide slope back to life. depend upon tight, boys, Blue said. Mamas just going to get cleaned up and put on a new dress, then well go get you something to eat and pick up my money.She ran a sponge over her arm and smiled. She really could be Snow White now. adept dwarf at a time, she thought.Elijah Ben Sapir had roamed the major planet for eight hundred and seventeen years. In that time he had seen empires rise a nd fall, miracles and massacres, ages of ignorance and ages of reasonableness the full spectrum of mankinds cruelty and kindness. He had seen all manner of freakishness, from the perversions of nature to the perversions of mind, reprobate, beautiful, terrifying he thought he had seen it all. But for all of his years, and all the acuity of perception enabled by his vampire understandings, he had never seen a huge shaved cat in a red sweater, and sitting there in his newly washed yellow tracksuit, still warm from the dryer and feel of soap and fabric softener, he smiled.Hey, kitty, the old vampire said.The huge cat eyed him suspiciously from across the loft. The cat could sense that he was a predator, just as Elijah could sense that the cat had been prey to a vampire. Kitty treat.Im not going to eat you, kitty. Ive fed instead nice.It was true. Elijah was feeling a little bloated from trying to keep the body count up. maybe he should just kill the next few, not feed. But no, t he police wouldnt know it was a vampire then, and thered be no joy in terrorizing the fledgling. He just wasnt ready to feed yet. There was someone in the stairwell right now, he could hear her breathing and smell patchouli and rive cigarette flavor wafting under the door. Soon enough, he thought.Perhaps well find something for you to eat, hey, kitty?Elijah vaulted off the bar stool and began opening cupboards. In the third one he found pouches of Tender Vittles. He took a rolling wave from the cupboard that looked as if it had never been used, dumped in the meatish nuggets, and shook them around.Come, kitty.Chet padded a few steps toward the kitchenette, then stopped. Elijah put the drum roll down and stepped away. I understand, kitty. I dont like to eat in front of witnesses either. But sometimes The vampire hear a car pull up outside, a car that hadnt been tuned in a while. He cocked his head and listened as the doors opened and slammed. quaternion got out. He heard their s teps on the concrete, a female voice, hissing at the other three. In an instant he was at the window looking down, and in spite of himself, he smiled again. There was no vivid life aura around the four down on the sidewalk. No healthy pink glow, no black shadow of death. The visitors below were not human.Vampires. On one hand, an indication of an enormous business one that just might pull up attention that he could ill yield but on the other, exciting in a way that he hadnt felt in a hundred years. intravenous feeding against one. Oh my, kitty, how ever will I flourish?The old vampire ran his tongue over his fangs. For all the rage, frustration, and discomfort hed endured since choosing the redhead as his fledgling, he was, for the first time in decades, not bored. He was having the time of his very long life.Killing time, kitty, he said, slipping into a pair of Tommys Nikes.Jody awoke to the smell of clove cigarettes and the crunching of Cheese Newts. There was music screechi ng, too a whiny guy vocalizing about some girl named Ligeia, who apparently he missed a great deal because he was talking about dragging her worm-worn corpse from the earth and necking her cheek on a drib above the sea before throwing himself off, with her in his arms. The singer sounded a little down, and like he could have used a throat lozenge.She opened her eyes and was ab initio blinded until she adjusted to the black light, then she yelped. Jared White Wolf was sitting on the bed about two feet away from her, shoving handfuls of crunchy Cheese Newts into his mouth. There was a brown rat on his elevate.Hi. Newt crumbs sprayed and fluoresced on the black sheets and clothing.Hi, Jody said, turning her head to quash the crumbs.This is my room. Do you like it?Jody looked around, for once not really that thrilled with her vampire night-vision abilities. There were disturbing stains glowing on the sheets, and almost everything else in the room was black with a patina of vibra nt blacklight-enhanced dust or lint there was even lint on the rat.Its swell, she said. Interesting, she thought. She was no longer afraid of gang members and street criminals, and would even throw down with an eight-hundred-year-old vampire if need be, but rodents still sort of gave her the willies. The rats eyes were glowing silver in the black light.This is Lucifer devil. Jared scooped the animal off his shoulder and held him out.Despite an attempt at self-control, Jody climbed rearward halfway up the wall, shredding a Marilyn Manson posting with her nails in the process.Lucifer One went on to his dark reward when I tried to dye him black.Sad, Jody said.Yeah. Jared turned the rat and rubbed noses with him. I was hoping we could turn him to nosferatu when you bring Abby and me into the fold.Yeah, sure, thatll happen. Why am I in your room, Jared?It was the only place we could think to bring you. It wasnt safe under the bridge. Abby had to go, so Im in charge.Good for you. Wher es Tommy? beneath the bed.She would have known that would have heard him breathing if the music wasnt cranked up to coffin-splitting volume.Could you turn the music down a little, divert? Kay, Jared said. He tucked Lucifer Two in his pocket and spidered across the bed, getting a little tangled in his black duster, then rolled to the floor and across the room in a commando-under-fire move until he got to the stereo, where he twisted the dial, putting the keening Emo singer out of his misery, or at least shutting him the fuck up.Where are we? Tommys voice from under the bed. It smells like gym socks stuffed with ground-up hippies.Were in Jareds room, Jody said. She let a hand drop off the environ of the bed. Tommy took it and she pulled him out. He was still partially wrapped in duct tape and slobber bags.Was I a hostage again?We had to cover you up to keep you from keen in the sun.Well, thanks.Tommy looked at Jody, who shrugged.I was unwrap when I woke up, she said.Thats because Abby says youre the Alpha vamp. Do you guys want to play Xbox or watch a DVD? I have The triumph Special Collectors Edition.Gee, Jody said, that would be great, Jared, but wed intermit be going.Tommy had already picked up the Xbox controller, but set it down with marked disapproval, as if hed notice a little botulism there on the trigger button.Oh, you cant go until the rents go to bed. Jared giggled, high and girlish. The door is right by where they watch TV.Well go out a window, Jody said.Jared giggled again, then snorted a little, then started to honk, then took a hit from the inhaler that hung around his neck before he went on. Theres no window. This basement is totally windowless. Like weve been walled up in here with our own grievous despair. Isnt it sweet?We could go to mist, Tommy said. Go out under the door.That would be so cool, Jared said, but my dad put rubber gaskets around the door to contain my nasty minor stench. Thats what he calls it my disgusting Goth stench . Although I dont think Im really Goth, more like death punk. He just doesnt like cloves. Or pot. Or patchouli. Or gay people.Philistine, Tommy said.Oh, would you guys like some Cheese Newts? Jared picked the box up off the floor and held it out. I can open a mineral vein on them if you need me to. He waved the thumb Abby had stabbed to prepare their coffee the night before, now wrapped in a chevvy ball of gauze and medical tape the size of a racquetball.Im good, Tommy said.Jody nodded in system although she would love a cup of coffee, she didnt think she should ask the kid to stab himself quite so soon.She checked her watch. What time do your parents go to bed?Oh, around ten. Youll have plenty of time to stalk the night and whatnot. Would you like to wash up or something? Theres a bathroom down here. And a washing machine. My room was the wine cellar, then my dad crashed his car and started twelve-stepping, so I got this sweet room for my own. Abby says its dank and disgusting and she says it like its a bad thing I think its just her chirpy side manifesting. I love her, but she really can be perky sometimes dont tell her I said so.Jody shook her head, then nudged Tommy, who shook his head in agreement. We wont tell. The kid was sort of heavy(p) her the creeps. She thought she might have doomed that ability with blood drinking and the sleep of the undead and all, but nope, she was getting completely creeped out.Jared, when is Abby coming back?Oh, she should be here any minute. She went to your loft to feed the cat.She went to our loft? The loft where Elijah was?No, its okay. She went during daylight so he couldnt hurt her.Its not daylight anymore, Jody said.How do you know? Jared said No windows, duh.Tommy Stooge-smacked his forehead with enough force to render a mortal man unconscious. Because were awake, you fucking moronOh yeah, ha, Jared said. The trill giggle again. Thats bad, huh?